Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Dear Santa

Halloween is almost upon us, so you know what that means: It’s almost Christmas!!!!

What? What do you mean “Thanksgiving”? I have no idea what you are talking about. Oh wait, you mean that day of the year where everyone stuffs themselves with turkey and then the women clean in the kitchen and the men watch football and complain about the quarterback or the defense? Gee… can’t understand how I could over look that festive event.

But, while I’m on the subject of Christmas, I might as well get my letter to Santa out early. You know, beat the rush.

Dear Santa,

2012 has been a wild year for everyone and I’m sure life is pretty busy up at the North Pole. In the next few weeks, you’ll be getting letters from Kidlets 1 and 2 with requests for Legos and Pokemon games for the Wii and DS, but for today, it’s just me.

I’ve been very good this year. Yes, I know you hear that a lot, but in this case, it’s true… well, mostly. And, in light of my mostly goodness, I would like to respectfully submit my Christmas wish list, along with an explanation as to why it’s so important.

1. More K Cups for the Kurieg you gave me last year. You see, I spend a lot of time in a java induced state, between raising the kids, keeping our family life in order (barely) and occasionally cleaning the house. That doesn’t include the time needed to write my current WIP. Without coffee, it’s likely I would be committed to the funny farm where, it turns out, life isn’t all that funny. However, the rising cost of everything added to my husband’s, noble yet time consuming job mean money and time for fru-fru drinks at the fancy coffee place down the street is precious. The Kurieg has taken the worry out of my addiction, but sadly, I’m running low on those bad for the environment plastic cups that can’t be recycled and the golden grounds that reside within them. Please help me maintain a healthy balance between life and writing by dropping off a few boxes… or ten.

2. A new, ergonomic chair for my desk. Something that comforts me when my butt is in it but the ideas aren’t flowing as fast as I want them to. Good posture is not a luxury for a writer. It’s a need. So a request for a chocolate brown leather chair with massage and heat options isn’t really a luxury at all, as you can plainly see.

3. A signed copy of any JK Rowling book. I would prefer Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. (That would be the UK edition). If you’re having problems getting this, check out ebay…. Just make sure you get a certificate of authenticity… and  a picture of JK actually signing it. You can’t trust anybody these days!

4. A finished writing room. In order to get this, the kidlets will have to be moved into their new suite and the Wall-E mural will have to be primed, so I would take a gift card from Home Depot in lieu of the actual finished project, along with the power to freeze time so I can actually get the room painted.

5. A finished novel. I’ve been making great progress on the current WIP, but in order to secure the next item on my list, a finished, revised manuscript is needed. Perhaps we can implement the previously mentioned freezing of time to allow me to deliver this to myself. After all, I love a DIY project!

6. As I mentioned, I need a completed manuscript for my next request. It’s not a big one… oh, who am I kidding… it’s huge. I would like an agent. I’m not saying I actually want you to gift wrap and agent and shove him or her under the tree. That would be ridiculous. But an actual partner to help me navigate my (hopefully) marathon-long career of publishing would be much appreciated. Perhaps, if you are unable to deliver this one, I’ll be forced to turn to your nemesis, the Easter Bunny… I’m just saying.

And that’s it. I hope you don’t find my list too long or the items too difficult to deliver. I realize the time freezing one may provide a challenge, but you’re the big guy in red. If anyone can pull this off, it would be you. I know you are working hard to get your ride ready for the big day and I won’t keep you any longer. Good luck as you enter the home stretch of living out your PASSION for bringing joy to good girls and boys around the world. I’ll have some cookies, Coca-Cola® and Aleve® waiting for you when you stop by the house!

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