Thanks to all of you who submitted your thoughts on the two versions of my first page. After reading your feedback and tinkering with the original manuscript, I'm going to stick with the first person/present tense. I know, I know, some of you weren't big fans, but honestly, the character wants everything filtered through her eyes and she's kinda stubborn (thank goodness or she would get her butt handed to her on a platter in the book).
Again, thank you for your feedback and wish me luck!
Hi Sarah, I like the second version personally, but I'm not YA. I haven't read much YA either. I think the first version sounds more exciting and lively.
ReplyDeleteI'll be interested to see what other people prefer. Good luck.
Definitely the first..no question about it. And...I want more!
ReplyDeleteI like the third person version better, first person just seems a bit awkward. Totally interested in the idea and want to keep reading! The first-person version feels a tiny bit info-dumpy, too. I would be careful about giving too many non-critical details about her dad.
ReplyDeleteGiven the audience, I was pulled in more with the 1st person and the teens you are aiming for I think would agree. You also wrote with more emotion in the first which might be another reason I prefer it. How do we really know the voice nags her, etc without being in 1st person.
ReplyDeleteJMZ.
You have to do what your characters need you to do! I can't wait to see where it goes!
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