tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3514163498744696601.post3143856149011499973..comments2024-03-28T02:14:37.723-07:00Comments on Sarah J Schmitt: Query Letter Available for ShreddingAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09540991825673515319noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3514163498744696601.post-89434696721422120682013-06-14T12:24:03.641-07:002013-06-14T12:24:03.641-07:00Yes! Hurry up and get an agent already.
I’m borin...Yes! Hurry up and get an agent already.<br /><br />I’m boring, because my changes are always spelling, punctuation, etc. Dan is the one who’s great at conceptual changes ☺. I made some tweaks and marked some questions.<br /><br />REPLAY, a 76,000 word YA ghost story, is Mean Girls meets A Christmas Carol. It can stand alone, but also has trilogy potential.<br /><br />Seventeen year old RJ always gets what she wants. So when her soul is accidentally collected by a distracted Grim Reaper, somebody in the afterlife better figure out a way to send her back or heads will roll. But in her quest for mortality she becomes a pawn in a power struggle between an over-zealous archangel — who has grown tired of white wings and harps — and the Hawaiian-shirt wearing Death himself, who isn’t about to give up his control over the newly departed without a fight.<br /><br />While she awaits the decision of the Tribunal, a three-angel panel charged with determining whether her life warrants rewinding the history of the world, RJ wanders through the afterlife, where she meets the Cornhole-playing St. Peter; Al, the handler for the 3-headed Hound of Hell; and her Guardian Angel, who doesn’t seem to like her very much. Finally, the Angels [do you use this as a title in the book? If not, lower case it] present her with two options: She can remain in the Lobby with other souls waiting to be processed, until her original lifeline expires — or she can replay three moments in her life, aided by three departed souls, in an effort to make different choices to produce a future they deem worthy of saving. <br /><br />It’s a no-brainer. She’ll take the walk down memory lane. How hard can it be?<br /><br />But with each moment, RJ’s life changes — until the self-proclaimed Queen Bee [question: is this RJ? A little vague] becomes a social pariah. Before long, she begins to wonder if walking among the living is worth it if it means spending the next sixty years as an outcast.<br /><br />QUESTION: “her life is worth rewinding the history of the world” — it’s not super-clear why her life would cause them to rewind WORLD history. I think I know what you mean — that if they decide her life has enough value, they’ll turn back time and change the outcome — but when you say “world history” it seems to throw me a little and seems like it would change thousands of years, not just one lifetime-worth.<br /><br />NOTE: Do you need to call it a “ghost story”? Again, I get it, but to me that conjures up (conjures — get it?!) spooky things hiding in closets, not this other world. Angels aren’t ghosts — but are the three departed you mention? Again, though, I don’t know what’s in your book to know what makes more sense. Those are just my thoughts.<br /><br />Good luck!<br />Kelly O'Dell Stanleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04326558030573633652noreply@blogger.com